The Com
Experts warn that violent online networks known as The Com, including one designated a terrorist entity in Canada, groom vulnerable kids on mainstream games and apps, then move them to private encrypted chats where they coerce them into harming themselves or others.
Should I worry?
The pattern experts describe is gradual: an adult or older teen builds a friendship on a popular game or app, offers attention and a sense of belonging, then asks to move the chat to a private or encrypted app. From there, the pressure can turn to secrecy, threats, and demands for self-harm, sexual images or violence. Kids who feel lonely or left out are most at risk. Warning signs include a new online friend they are secretive about, a sudden push to use other apps, new anxiety around their phone, withdrawal, unexplained injuries, or talk of being in trouble they can't escape. Stay calm and keep the door open: ask who they play with and talk, and agree together on which apps are okay. If your child is being pressured, tell them it is not their fault, keep the messages as evidence, stop replying, and report it.
How to join in
Most kids who chat with people they meet in games are just playing and making friends, and that is normal. The point is not to ban it but to know who they talk to. Show interest in the games they love, ask who they team up with, and play alongside them sometimes. Kids who feel they belong at home and can tell you about an uncomfortable message without getting punished are much harder to manipulate.
Try saying
“I like hearing about who you play with online. If anyone ever asks you to keep a secret, switch to a private app, or says you'll be in trouble if you tell, come to me right away. You won't be in trouble, and we'll sort it out together.”
If you’re worried
If your child is in immediate danger or has been hurt, call 911. To report online sexual exploitation or threats, contact Cybertip.ca. If intimate images have been shared, NeedHelpNow.ca can help get them removed. Kids Help Phone is available to your child at 1-800-668-6868 or by texting 686868. If self-harm or suicide is involved, call or text 988.
Sources
From Mistlift, mistlift.app. Plain talk about what kids are into online.